My name is Ryan. I grew up in New York with my mom and my siblings. My mom was always there for us, but my father spent his time in and out of prison.

My childhood was not a happy one. It was chaotic, abusive, traumatic, and frightening. My father drank heavily and was extremely violent—at first toward my mother, and as we got older, toward us too. Living in constant fear shaped who I became.

My father claimed to be a Christian. We prayed together every night, and there was a sign over our door that said, “The family that prays together stays together.” When he left, I didn’t understand how that could be true if God was real.

That confusion turned into resentment toward God and toward myself. I carried anger, sadness, and shame into adulthood, never knowing how to process the trauma I had been through.

In high school, I began drinking and smoking weed daily. It felt like an escape from the chaos at home and inside of me. After graduation, I was introduced to heroin. From the very first time I used it, I was hooked. It gave me relief from the pain, but soon every day became about chasing drugs just to avoid getting sick.

I spent years in and out of rehabs. I promised myself that my daughter would never see me high. During a visit, she asked why I looked so skinny and sick. Though she didn’t fully understand, she saw the truth, and it broke me.

I was homeless, living under a bridge during the winter, injecting heroin and meth daily with no food, no water, and no money—yet I had more drugs than I’d ever dreamed of.

Through a combination of desperation, my daughter, and God’s grace, I finally realized I was killing myself. I was totally broken and ready to give up.

In desperation I cried out to God. Soon after, I received a call from Capital City Rescue Mission telling me there was a bed available. I went to detox and then came directly to the Mission. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

From the moment I arrived, I felt welcomed and loved. I joined the New Life Program, and I learned something that changed everything: my new identity.

I learned that I am not defined by my addiction or my past. I am a born-again child of God. As Scripture says in 1 Peter 5:10–11,

“The God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

I am deeply grateful to God and to the Mission because they didn’t just give me shelter; they showed me what it means to live as a strong Christian man following Jesus.

The staff and pastors walked alongside me, gave me structure, consistency, and community, and helped set me up for long-term success.

Today, I have been sober for over three years. I am working, living responsibly, and staying connected to the Mission for community and support. I have hope and a future. I am getting married and starting a new chapter of life rooted in Christ.

Thank you for setting me up to succeed!